I can't believe it's already been 1 year! These past couple days have been a roller coaster of emotions for me because I haven't been able to decide if I'm happy or sad that Navi is 1. For the most part, I'm happy. She has been the happiest smiley baby and is now growing into the happiest, smiley, BUSY toddler. However, there is a part of me that is so sad to think her "baby" days are disappearing.
One year and one day ago I was also experiencing a roller coaster of emotions as I arrived at the hospital to be induced. I was irritated that I wasn't going into labor on my own, but I was thrilled to think in just a few hours I would be able to meet the little girl that had been growing inside of me. I felt anxious knowing I had to go through the labor process, but I was also so happy to know I didn't have to be pregnant much longer! I was scared to think I would soon be a parent but thankful I would be experiencing the responsibility with Nate. Arguably too MANY emotions for a 9 month + pregnant women to be dealing with.
Besides the time spent waiting for me to dialate, the labor process seemed quick and not as bad as I had built it up in my mind. Of course, that was probably due to the fact that I had taken complete advantage of my pain medicine button and wasn't hesitant to push it when I felt I might be "feeling" anything. The nurse said it all when she came in to help me sit up to push and she exclaimed, "WHOA! You're REALLY numb aren't you!?!" (as you can imagine, this only irritated me just a LITTLE, because I had specific intructions from the anesthesiologist who had said I could push it every hour (half hour maybe? I can't remember) and that the machine wouldn't let me overdose. So in mind my, I was thinking, "Well, I don't want to feel any more than I have to, so I'm going to use it all I can!" Because I was "so numb" they were going to make me wait awhile for some of the numbness to wear off, but when the Dr. came in, I didn't hesitate to push and he said we were good to go! Who would have guessed, that 20 minutes and a few pushes later, would bring me the greatest blessing I've ever recieved? (well, besides Nate of course)
On April 14, 2009 at 2:08 PM I was introduced to my beautiful, precious, heaven-sent baby: Navi Sandra. I remember looking at Nate thinking, "We did this??" She was pink and squished, but she was perfect. Right off the bat, we noticed she had one of Nate's ears and kind of big feet. She was a piece of our life puzzle that we didn't even know was missing.
Before I had Navi, and people would tell me that having a baby was a very spiritual experience, I would internally roll my eyes and think, "Yes, I'm sure all the pain and blood makes it wonderfully spiritual." But after going through the process myself, I'm not ashamed to say I was wrong. I know everyone's experiences are different, but for me, it was spiritual. Spiritual in the sense that I KNEW, without a doubt, that Navi was brought to me especially by my mom. Friends even later joked that the reason Navi was more than a week overdue was because my mom wasn't done playing with her yet. I don't doubt that at all.
On a very personal note, I would like to share my feelings about my mom bringing her to me. I want my thoughts typed out so that someday, Navi will be able to read them.
As I knelt by my mom's bedside the day she died, along with my siblings, Dad, Nate, and other close family members, I witnessed her "talking" to other people in the room. (and I say "talking" because at that point, she wasn't very coherant due to the medicine that kept her pain away) We're positive those people were her Dad and other family members that had passed on before her. I cannot tell you how sure I am that they were there to meet her and take her to the other side. They were her personal escorts.
As an endowed member of the church, I now have a greater appreciation for the signifigance of escorts and their role in the temple. I also have a testimony of their signifigance in other parts of our lives as well. Specifically birth and death. Just as I know my mom had escorts to meet her, I know without a doubt, that my Navi baby had a very SPECIAL escort who brought her to me. I felt her presence there with me in the hospital delivery room...even with all the pain and blood.
It was a day I will never forget for many reasons. I can't believe that day was exactly a year ago and I'm so grateful for Navi and the happiness she has brought me and Nate.
My Precious Navi Baby,
I love you more than I will ever be able to explain. I love your contagious smile and your playful giggle. I love when I come to get you after a night's sleep or an afternoon nap, and you give me the biggest hugs. (sometimes you're probably just holding me tight, afraid that I'm going to lay you back down, but other times I'm sure you're hugging me!) I love that you love your family. You are so excited to see your Grandpas and Grandma and you love any time spent with your aunts. (you're getting better around your uncles too) You especially love your cousins and they all love you too. Most of all, I love the bond you have with your Daddy. He loves you just as much as I do and I'm pretty sure his world revolves around you.
You are very smart and are just beginning to show us your happy personality. You love babies and carry around your favorite baby while you play. I love that you give her kisses and I love it even more when you give me and Daddy kisses. (we know that someday your kisses won't be given so voluntarily, so we're taking as many as we can right now) You love music and you never hesitate to dance. I'm positive that's a quality you got from your Dad. I love the times when I realize you have qualities like your Dad, because I love him so much too!
You are the greatest blessing to our family. I thank Heavenly Father daily that he blessed me with the oppurtunity to be your mom.
I love you more than you know!
Love, Mom


To see a few of her other 1 year pictures go HERE. (now I just have to finish picking out the rest!) Thanks again Nicole!!

















































